Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I can't stop obsessing about everyting. It kept me up last night.

I was thinking of exactly how I was going to plan my day- get up, eat lunch, what exactly I would have for lunch- it had to be enough so I didn't have to eat fast food on campus.. how fast I could get to campus, how long I could study, how long I would take my test, studying before class, studying after class, would I come home? i had to, I would be starving. I wouldn't be able to study in my apartment- would I? I could maybe- for an hour, then eat and watch tv and study after.

Would I make a good enough grade to get an A?? Now that I have taken the test, I don't think I did! Omg, what if I messed up my 4.0 with such an easy class as that one was?? I would die. DIE. What if I mess up my last final?? After all that hard work??? Why do I even try?? It's not a big deal- why do I have to make it a big deal??

THen I think- why do guys always have to think you like them?? I odn't get it. Ugh. I hate it. I don't want to go out on Thursday. It will be weird- but A wants me to.. and will she take no for an answer??

I forgot to mail the bills. I always forget something!! Now we might have a late fee- ugh ugh ugh!!

I'm worried about eating right and not going to the gym.

I'm worried that I am so dumb I'm gonna screw everything up and I'm really disapointed in myself and I'm just in SUCH a bad mood.

I am going to bed. HOpefully?? Will my mind shut off for long enough that I can reach unconsciousness????