Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Well, I had been feeling relatively well. Then all the sudden I have felt extremely depressed. I missed 5 classes last week due to extreme apathy. I don't want to do anything- I do want to drink a lot. All of this is bad. WHen I drink I drink to get so drunk I can't think. Yea, I'm thinking this may not be healthy.

I have begun to resent T slightly because of this and his inability to fucking pay attention to me. Why can't you come down one fucking night of the week? I'm sorry it doesn't fit into your "routine". I never wanted to be a routine to you. Something spontaneous maybe? Make me feel like you want me and love me and care. Long distance is hard. I need you here. I need someone.

I just want to cry and lay in my bed. I'm so sick of everyday. Ugh.