Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Trying.

Trying to get a new perspective on life.
Trying to realize there's worse things in life than having one sleepless night.
Trying to get a grip on worry.
Trying to be a better person.
Trying not to take advantage of all the good things in life I overlook.

I was walking home from the gym the other day. In such a hurry to get back. Then all the sudden it hit me. It was a gorgeous day. Blue skys.. the leaves on all the trees looked so green against the sky. It was beautiful. I walk by it everyday yet I always seem to miss it. One thing comes to mind: slow down.

Everyone always in such a damn rush. I can be different. And take things slowly. Appreciate the little things. Oh is it going to be hard to do this. I have trained myself the other way for so long.. but I want to. Not appriciating.. always rushing to get to the next thing.. makes you unhappy. Living life in the moment. That's what really matters.

I am thankful for so many things in my life. Here is a few:
1. my unbelievable wonderful/supportive family. I always took them for granted until recently when I realized not everyone's family is there for them.
2. My friends. They make me smile.
3. T. He is the best thing to happen to me. We always make each other laugh.. he GETS me. I'm myself. Sometimes I want to say things to other people but I stop myself knowing they wouldn't get it. Makes me value T even more.
4. The opportunities I have in life. I could do anything I wanted to do. I am my own limit. Others are not so lukcy.

Those are the main things. So be happy. You have so much!!

Why are people never satisfied? Maybe it's this biological mechanism so that humans always strive for improvement and the eventual betterment of human kind. Its this evolutionary drive.
Sometimes I wish I could just lay and stare up at my ceiling listening to music and not worry that I am going to be tired the next day or think of all the things I need to get done and I should be doing instead.

I am my own limit. I which I wasn't so afraid sometimes.

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