Saturday, July 02, 2005


I haven't done anything after I got home from the hospital all day. I feel guilty because of this. I think: Studying for the GRE. Clean your room. Go to the gym. Don't sit on your ass all day. GET UP.

I didn't listen. And I feel guilty. I SHOULD be doing these things and not sitting around all Saturday watching movies. I guess it is summer though, I should be able to relax, but that has never been my strong suit. Well, without feeling guilt at least. I just feel like it is a wasted day. I thought: you can do all these things tomorrow! But now I am going to visit T. Jesus. HAVE FUN! You'll be in school for the next 3 years straight.

So I'm going out with M alone tonight. We have only hung out once before alone. I'm worried it's going to be awkward. I mean, we get along and stuff when we are with other people but I'm just worried that there won't be any conversation flowing between us. We are both the quiet type I guess. I don't want to feel stupid.

I need a plan. A real one that I stick to. So I'm going to start out by being honest. I do not think tomorrow or Monday I will do anything at all. So here it is. I start school till 2. I will bring my GRE supplies and study it over lunch the hour I have between classes. I will shoot for 2 weeks from today to take the damn test. I need to do a draft of my personal statement. And resume. I will take on one a week. Must do this. Must do this.


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