Sunday, June 19, 2005

what happy people know

Even though I feel like a nutcase reading it, I am realy enjoying "What Happy People Know." What gets me though is how much it reminds me of Donnie Darko. The part about Fear and Love and how they clumped all human emotion into those two catagories. Dr. Baker seems to have the same mindset. I used to think it was silly in the movie, but Dr. Baker makes good points. It's not like that's EVERY emotion. But they certianly are the dominant emotions and fear stems from a lot of sources that we may not originally recognize as fear. My anxiety is fear. I'm afraid I am going to fail at life, I'm afraid I'm going to have a panic attack, I'm afraid I am not good enough. I realize I am living too much of my life in fear. He also claims that love is the antidote to fear. You can't feel both emotions at the same time. I agree, but it's easier said than done. It's not like you can wake up one day and decide to love instead of being afraid. He makes good points. I feel like one of those helpless nutcases in admitting that though, that I actually have to resort to some sort of self help book to get my life back on track. I'll try anything though.

He also advocates this Appriciation Audit. Top Five Lists. Like Top 5 things I am looking forward to, or top 5 all time vacations.. just to get your mind off bad things and help you appriciate the good things. I think I'll make a Top 5 things I am looking forward to this week:
1. Lunch with my sister on Thursday
2. Belly dancing and dinner with friends on Wednesday
3. Outlet shopping with my sister and mom on Friday
4. Spending time with T friday night
5. Watching the Premire of Real World Austin

I like also his approach to therapy. This so called Positive Therapy where he doesnt necessarily center on the problem itself but on your good qualities.. the things you love. I've been to therapy. Talked about everything I found wrong and it did me no good. I need something positive to devote my energy to. Something to get my mind off the bad things and onto the good things in my life. I need to be optimistic.

I'm stubborn. But I also know I need a change. Which one will previal?

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