Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Two more classes left.

Checking Physics off the list. Made an A, uncurved. Pretty good I guess.. but I still only made an 83 on the final. I wish I had done better. Being a perfectionist is a terrible thing. Even though I made an A I am still not happy. That is just crazy.

So two more classes left. BIO lab and physiology. I only need a 68 on my bio lab. I'll study for that tomorrow. I just don't want to slack too much because what if I don't get that 68? I'm not doing as weel on my finals this year as I thought I would. I don't want to get overly sure of myself and mess it up. Physiology is going to be so incredibly hard it is insane. I looked over the stuff today and I don't even know where to start. It will be a long weekend that is for sure. But I must do good. I HAVE to prove to myself that I can do it. That way I don't end the year with a sour note of just barely making it by. I want to pass with flying colors.

Secured a volunteer job. Fantastic. Good bye Saturday mornings. I can't get in contact with the spine center. Maybe it wasn't meant to be? Or maybe I havent pressed hard enough. I must get that volunteer position!

So the stress is mounting. My mom said it best.. I look at everything I need to do and clump it into this big pile of things that I look at all at once. I need to sort it out and take things one step at a time. ANd I know she understands where I am coming from. She has the same issues that I do. I can't believe I was worried about talking to her. Embarassed is more like it I guess. I look at my problems as a weakness. It's not fun exposing your weaknesses to other people even if they are family and they love you. She would do anything to help me. I can't believe there is a person out there who would do anything to help ME. Talking to her today though made me realize this was true. And I could go talk to her about anything if I needed to she would totally understand me and be there to pick up all the peices.

Deep breaths... that's what I keep telling myself. In and out nice and slow.. don't let your mind get carried away.

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